TURKEY: Roasted Whole Turkey Upside-down

Yo, TC here. It's Thanksgiving time again. If you actually like turkey, lucky you. If not, why are you reading this? Oh, cause the family wants their giant bird on a table just because.

Okay straight to it.

Pointers

• Always bring to room temperature

• Always rest meat after for 10 minutes after cooking

• Don't open the oven door until it's done

• Don't stab it with a meat thermometer

• Cook breast side down

What You Need

• A turkey

• A roasting pan with a rack (or a big pan at least 2 inches deep with a small cookie cooling rack in the middle. What's a cookie cooling rack? Just go saw off the top and bottoms off the skinniest cans you can find, and saw off 1.5 inch disks and place them in a cluster in the middle of the pan)

• Kitchen twine (or some kind of string strong enough to tie the turkey with. Non-flammable but not too crazy thick. Save the paracord for playing survivor.)

• Garlic, lemon, celery, carrots (if you must)

• Herbs you like or stick with rosemary

• Oil (and optionally butter)

• Salt and pepper

For the Daring (TLDR)

1. Preheat to 400 degrees

2. Wash and dry turkey

3. Oil and season both inside and out

4. Stuff with garlic, lemon, celery butt and ends, carrot tops if you must and cover opening with double layer foil inside

5. Tie neck close, and tie wings and legs close to body

6. Into oven, breast side down for 13 minutes per pound. 400 degrees for the first 20, 325 degrees for the next 120, and 225 degrees for the remainder

7. Remove and cover tightly with foil but poke many holes

8. Keep some place warm until meal time

More Detailed Instructions

1. Preheat the oven to 400 degrees.
   

2. Wash the turkey with salt and dry inside and out.
   

3. Rub the inside and outside with oil, salt and seasoning. I stick to rosemary for this one, but feel free to use your favorites.
   

4. Stuff it with garlic cloves, lemon chunks, celery butt and ends, carrot tops if you must and cover the opening with double layer foil making sure to stuff the edges inside
   

5. Tie the neck close, and tie the wings and legs close to the body so they don't overcook
   

6. Place into the oven, breast side down, for 13 minutes per pound plus the stuff inside (so a 15 pounder is 195 minutes plus another 13-15 for the cavity stuff). Roast at 400 degrees for the first 20 minutes, turn the oven down to 325 degrees for the next 120, and then to 225 degrees for the remainder.
   

7. Remove and cover tightly with foil but poke many holes to let out steam so you don't get soggy turkey skin.
   

8. Keep it some place warm until meal time. It should have enough heat to keep itself good for up to an hour.

Enjoy your terrible turkey.

-TC